More Borgstromancy

More of the informal work of Jenna K. Moran, taken from this thread.

The phone call is coming from *inside the house!*

The butler did it.
. . . well, the butler, and Cthulhu.
Cthulhu did most of the butchery.
But the butler let him in.
And held his knife.
And dusted him off afterwards
To help him disguise himself as the Christmas Tree.

He’s actually . . . Luke’s *father*.
But more astonishingly
Luke is *his*.
In episode three Luke warps too fast around the sun
Due to a problem with communication
And winds up in the past.
He builds two robots
And saves some whales
And has sex.
That’s why almost a quarter of his genes are an exact match with his own.
Remember, kids!
Midichlorians measure inbreeding!

The Iron Giant is friendly.
He loves people.
In fact, he loves them too much.
Just like Big Bird.

The owls are not what they seem.
They are luxury sedans with smooth, precise shifting,
High engine rev,
And dynamic performance.
It’s a funky show.

Star Trek is based on the true story
Of Rasputin
And his faithful half-Vulcan companion,

What is the Matrix?
A tissue of false fate
Woven in the Wyld.

Sing, oh muse, of the wrath of Achilles
Sing, oh muse, of the birth of Ganesha
And of Iron John
And of that place
East of the sun, west of the moon.
And of all the old stories
Told by the Wyld
Before they were e’er told by men.

Superman comes back to life
Later on.
Only now,
He’s radioactive.


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